Well, looks like I’ve managed to completely screw up. Forgot to put out the scheduled dispatches for the 16th. What can I say? It’s a testament to how "busy" we’ve been at GoArmy HQ, where even the calendar gets neglected. Who knew running a military surplus business during wartime could be this chaotic?
So, what’s happening in the world?
Oh, just your usual drama: a potential ceasefire in Ukraine, kind of halfway sorted by Trump and Co. It’s honestly hilarious that the most aloof, “I’m too cool for this” guy—who’s basically the reigning king of “talking smack”—managed to pull this off. Although, as of today (26/03), it seems like Brussels is still playing hardball on lifting the sanctions on Russia. Seriously, if we could just loosen up on those sanctions—just a little bit—we’d be in a much better position to negotiate a ceasefire. But, hey, what do I know? We'll see if anyone can stop acting like they're in a high school canteeen
There’s something almost nostalgic about this whole situation—like a bawdy 1970s sitcom, with a loud, brash guy who can’t spell empathy to save his life, promising the world while a European stands there, rolling their eyes and getting a dressing down. Meanwhile, stern guests awkwardly stare and hope he "doesn't mention the war".
For those of you with eagle eyes, you’ve probably noticed we’ve now officially entered the “Faulty Towers” portion of this newsletter… which, let’s face it, was about one paragraph ago.
Also, just like a poorly thought-out sitcom plot, we’ve got Group Chat Gate playing out this week.
Some poor journalist accidentally got added to a U.S. defense group chat about attacks on the Houthis in Yemen. They were added by mistake to the encrypted ‘Signal’ chat, and, surprise! It turns out the chat wasn’t exactly filled with “weather reports” or “celebrity gossip.” Nope, this was where they were discussing the details of the attacks—timing, locations, even which missiles they’d be using. I can’t even begin to describe how badly this went off the rails. This wasn’t just a "wolf in the henhouse" situation; this was more like a hen suddenly being in a group chat about missile strikes. That's next-level screw-up territory.
It honestly feels like every time I turn on the TV or radio, I’m met with a new, absurd political circus. Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself, “Wait, it’s only been a few months, right?” Win, lose, or draw, I can’t look away. It's like political rubber necking of the highest order
In more positive news, we've finally managed to get all our new stock sorted and uploaded! We’ve got Bulgarian shirts, greatcoats, smocks, police jackets, and backpacks—just the essentials for any modern-day apocalypse or fashion-forward paramilitary.
But the real star of the show? These German police jackets. After creating a promotional video—which, let’s be real, racked up more views than any we'd done before—we’ve seen these bad boys flying off the shelves. Honestly, I’m hoping it’s a testament to my writing skills more than the coolness of the jacket, but let’s not kid ourselves. It’s definitely the jacket.
And, hot off the press, we’ve launched a “One Off” section on our website. Any true militaria collector knows the pain of hunting down rare items, often to the ends of the internet. So, as a fellow collector, I’ve taken it upon myself to sift through our stock for those unique, oddball items that’ll make you feel like a true treasure hunter. Keep an eye out in the “One Off” section if you’re looking for something that’s as rare as clean street in govan
Well, that’s all I’ve got for now.
I’ll do my best to get back on track in two weeks… or at least before the next political catastrophe hits.
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